Your head asplode

I took my family up the canyon for a short hike on Monday. Here are some things that did not happen:

• Someone (me) grew an extra toe suddenly and unexpectedly.


• The weather started getting rough.


• We got hopelessly lost. We are still up there. Send help.


• Anne took up gambling causing embarrassment to the rest of us.


• We assembled a 3D puzzle of a hang-glider and used it as a shoehorn. It nearly saved the day.

These are just a few of the many, many things that did not occur on Monday in the mountains. As clichéd as it sounds, it really would take too long to list them all.