Airing of Greivance

Are you stressed out, and need to hear of another's woes to feel better? Listen up. After I'd been here at this job for a week, 2 girls got hired as sales support agents that sit on the other side of my cubicle wall. One is normal, and I don't want to kill her. The other (the one closest to me, and thus in my ear all day long) is named Nicole. She has the black-dyed hair of a goth chick, but is ubber mormon. I mean, her first day on the job, she hung up pictures of temples and Jesus all over her cubicle. She also has one of those voices that grate. High, fake, and always upturned at the end of each sentence like a question. Here is the dialogue that I get to hear about 5 times per minute. Keep in mind, this script is WITHOUT VARIANCE, because this girl is retarded and has zero ad-lib skills.

"Hi is ________ there? Hi, this is Nicole from FULL COMPANY NAME. How ARE you? Good! Well, I'm just calling to give you a quick courtesy call and see how business is doing and how things are going...who is your Sales Rep? Are they staying in contact with you? Well, that's super! Are there any products or features that you'd like to see from us in the future? Great! Well, I really appreciate you taking my call and taking the time to talk to me and if you have any questions, just call me and ask for Andrea Scherrmann...you have to use my last name because there's 2 Andreas! (Giggle-snort) . Ok then, bye bye now!"

She knows absolutely nothing about anything. So if anyone has a question, she says "I'm new here, so I don't really know, but I'll have my manager email you." The main thing that makes me want to eat a bullet is the sentence "I'm just calling to give you a quick courtesy call..." I'm calling to give you a call. Oh. So I can't wait for the headphones I've ordered to get here. In the meantime, I try to remember to have the earbuds in, so I don't burst out in tears. The end. You may now use the comments to air your own grievances.