Joel, good job on designing and programming this site

This website has all the things you wanted. A love-flower pattern background, a black lady in heels, and a hand rapidly putting new images in the main banner. Thanks for making the hours easy to understand, and the navigation user-friendly.

I am become machine

Well, I got tubes in my ears.  As if I didn't have enough troubles already, now I'm a cyborg.

The More You Know

I just received this comment on the logodesign blog:

Actually when someone doesn't know then its up to other people that they will assist, so here it occurs.

Dome-O Arigato, Stephen King

I've started watching Under the Dome. It's a show about a town that gets trapped under a huge concave force field. I was hooked once the dome split a cow in half. Joel, you should watch it. Maddie said that they copied the Simpsons movie, but I said that it's based on Stephen King's book. Which was published after the Simpson's movie. Did he plagiarize? 

A little bit of Wikipedia reading revealed that he had the idea back in the 70's and even had written 2 different books about it(unpublished) at least 10 years before the Simpsons movie. So that's good. 

I downloaded the book and started to read it. So far it's good. What's up with you? That was directed to each person that is reading this. 

"a neighbor thought it was a whale carcasses"

I just read a poorly written article about a bad idea that a guy had.

I can't decide which is more retarded;

1) deciding to have relations with a hornet's nest

2) Animal rights activists being upset about it.

Sexy. 

Jillian's Michaels

Today I asked Mandi in an email why I need to get Ibe (ibuprofen) from Harm's (Harmon's)for her back. "What made your back hurt so bad?" I asked. Her answer was good enough for an Amazon review, so I posted it there, under Jillian Michael's dvd.

This guy knows modeling

Here's a web page I made in the early days of the web.  It features a young web entrepreneur with flow-pow for know-how.

Joel, It's Time For You To Post: Cause This Is What Happens

I hope you're happy.

Valentimes for Your Special Something

I like to peruse the card section of any store I go into, although I'm always disappointed. Once again, I've discovered a severe shortage of any love-based card that really communicates any kind of real emotion. Thanks again, Obama!

To cure this, I've designed and printed 23,000 cards that I've been sneakily slipping into the shelves so that people have good options. I do it out of the goodness of my heart. Do you have any idea how many cards you can insert into a grocery store's card section before they grow suspicious? Infinite. People, they never catch on.

Here are my more popular designs that you are free to printout and use for your own romantic purposes.

Once I was looking through my mom's shirt drawer and I came across a shoebox full of love letters my dad had sent to my mom. Dear reader, can you imagine the things I read? I try not to, and yet when I wake in the morning, my mind is already swollen with mental bile. I was so young. How was I to know the horrors of this realm? How could I realize how hopeless it is, how there is no escape?

Happy Valentime's Day!

Spoiler alert for a movie you shouldn't see.

For Mandoo's birthday I woke her up and gave her some breakfast. And I gave her a book. And a Blu-ray of Princess Bride. And a bunch of balloons and some flowers. I did this because she asked me to not get her anything.

For my birthday I think she's getting me a dvd of Mama, if she's been reading my hints correctly.

Mama is a movie we went to see yesterday. At no point do they use the Oingo Boingo song Mama, which turns out to be a fatal mistake. It is about a lady that's in a mental institute. she has a baby, but the nuns take it away from her, cause she's crazy. She takes umbrage at that, so to prove that she's fully mentally capable of raising a child, she stabs the nun and steals the kid. People chase her, so she jumps off a cliff with the baby. The baby gets stuck on a branch sticking of the cliffside.

The lady falls into water and dies. Her ghost is wondering where her baby is. Why doesn't she retrace her steps and look on the cliff? Because she's retarded. She looks around in the woods and then decides to live in a cabin.

Then some kids gets abandoned in the cabin. The ghost-retard raises them by feeding them cherries and squirrels. Despite the mom's enormous praying mantis limbs and elongated fingers, the kids are fine being raised by a ghost lady. Sometimes the lady is visible, and sometimes she isn't. Sometimes she moves really fast, and sometimes she crawls slowly. The best is when she travels by shrinking down and turning into a long grey wig. Then the wig shuffles around.

Since she's from the 1800s, I don't think she can drive a car, but at one point she inhabits the body of someone who does, so she learned pretty fast. She needed the car to drive the kids back to the cabin, you see.

The adopted dad is a little bit scared to raise two wild kids, but it's ok, because he falls into a coma, and isn't seen again until the end. He has a dream that his dead brother wants him to go to a bridge. So he wakes up from his coma and does, but he doesn't find anything. He does almost get hit by a car, though. The car is being driven by his girlfriend. Why did he have to go to a bridge? The director decided you can fill in your own answer there.

There's a doctor that has been examining the girls. He says he doesnt believe in ghosts, but then he decides he does and he goes to talk to the ghost. He also wants to give the ghost her baby back that he found on a shelf. He doesn't bring the baby, though. The ghost kills him for forgetting to bring the baby.

You think ghosts are not real. You also think that ghosts in movies are like wind and can't be touched unless they concentrate really hard, they can move a penny like Patrick Swayze. But this movie posits that ghosts ARE real, and they can touch anything, but they also can fit into tiny holes in the wall and wigs and strangle you and stick their hands on your head and make you go to sleep and suck your blood and make electrical power stop working. So basically, it's not a ghost story, it's a monster story. Even though they explain that this thing is a ghost several times.

So they give the dead baby back and the ghost-monster is really happy and goes to jump off the cliff with it, because apparently this is "righting a wrong" that makes ghosts stop existing. But then the stupider kid goes "mama" and the ghost remembers that it wants those kids too, and there's a fight. A really stupid fight. The parents decide that the ghost can keep the stupider kid, and she falls off the cliff with it. If you think that's probably not what a good mom would do, you may be right. They hit the branch, and the kid turns into a moth for some reason.

I'm serious. A human kid turns into a moth, because it falls off a cliff with a ghost.

Birthday Party

Yesterday we had a birthday party at my house for Mandi.  She didn't show up even though I bought her favorite cracker to share.  So I ate them all myself.  They are pretty good.  When I finished eating them, I started to look more closely at the box...

 Is that why they taste so good?