Numerology facts about Mandoon Notbaldsmith

With a name like Mandoon Notbaldsmith, I'm starting to wonder if there is a scientific endeavor as factually based as numerology but based on the sound of words that I can pursue. I bet there are some secrets to be had there!
Dear Mandoon,
Your reading is unequivocal. The information you provided was as truthful as the summit and thus your reading is as accessible.

• Never bet on a hamster race. There is a hamster conspiracy against you. Something about a fried sandwich you once made for someone? Anyway, hamsters are unforgiving, so don't expect they'll forget any time soon (ever).
• Make sure you spend several minutes each day examining the shape of the clouds. You will derive daily inspiration and sometimes messages literally (figuratively) spelled out for you. 
• Earthenware. My numerology reading told me to include that to you. Presumably it has significance that only you can derive. The truth will set you free.
• Every time you click on one of those gear icons to change your settings a fruit bat dies. So restrain yourself (or go crazy, depending on how you feel about killing fruit bats).

This has been an installment of the web site called Joel will numerology the crap out of you.com (and it won't even feel like you paid for it.com)