Truth behind the numbers

We all know and love math. Math is numbers and numbers are truth. That is why I have started a new website called "Numbers are for girls. And boys. Numerology by Joel." You can access this new web site by leaving a comment on this blog post and I will provide you with a customized reading that will guide you to future [PLACEHOLDER_TEXT]. Simply enter personal details in your comment that dictate who you are like your birth date, your full name, your shoe size - really, anything that can or cannot be reduced to a number, JUST LIKE YOU! As an example, I have prepared a reading for Mr. Paul Browning. I used various personal infos about Paul like his middle name (Stenworth) and his last breathalyzer test results (9) to compile these results. Let's take a look!

Paul,

• You've heard of people shivering when someone walks across their grave. For you, it's whenever someone walks across your next birthday cake.
• You have a psychosomatic overbite.
• Never tell anyone your birth-town because there are rogue and dark agents seeking to eliminate all traces of you. And your penchant for formic acid. Also, you have an undiscovered penchant for formic acid. 

I anticipate Paul will be able to use this reading to exceeding advantage in the domains of business and associations, including, as applicable, to the purchase and/or use of stocks and bonds among other unspecified and as yet unpredictable nuance. So, Paul, enjoy your liberation from the constraint of ignorance. And remember, numerology is for boys. And girls. Numerology by Joel. dot com.