I Demand You Tell Me Your Political Views

Hi, Facebook Friend. You went to high school with me or use to work with me. I see you once in a while at a concert or shopping center. You seem tolerable. Stop me if this is weird, but I was wondering if you could inform me what your political views are and why.

Wait! Just...wait. Check this.

I'm not really looking for a "Hope this guy wins" or "Good luck, this guy!" I could get that from  anybody.

I want to open my Facebook page and see long rants about a candidate. Does it fit into your religious views? Let's hear it! I have to know! I hate begging, but I want to hear what you've heard from people and from forwarded emails about the candidate. Don't be afraid to delve deep. Use phrases like "God's chosen" and "schooled in every perversion" and "proud scourge of the Earth".

If you find yourself running out of steam, I want you to think about the future of this country, and how it compares with your understanding of its past. Also some topics to consider:
9/11: I know you've got the goods on this one, let me have it.
The Book of Helaman: Relevant?
Mass shootings: You've probably got a take I haven't heard, which will make me re-think every thing I've learned and decided about the topic.

Remember, this isn't like a journal, it's your job to change everyone's mind. This is all about YOUR views. You're changing the world. Keep up the good work.

Much obliged,
Paul

P.S. If you're my dad, keep me posted in person. I may look disinterested or try to change the subject, but if you could somehow physically situate yourself between me and an exit, I would appreciate it. And let's get that volume up so passersby don't have to strain too hard to hear.